Another year, another Mother's Day vastly approaching, another bout of gift anxiety striking you down every time you think about the bag of nothing to give to your mum.
Well I'm about to save your live with this beautifully illustrated Scouse Mum gift guide. You. Are. Welcome.
Picture this, you're nothing but a mere child running around the house creating memories in your lovely childhood home with your lovely mum. You're showing her all the wildlife you found in the garden, making magic potions in the bath with all the cleaning products and a large helping of mum's really expensive perfume. Now imagine how long it took her to get those fucking smells out of her nose. You owe her one of these amazing whipped, essential oil based candles to take her nose to her happy place.
When you were a kid, you probably spent all your time kicking off because your Turkey Twizzlers were touching your beans and for the sake of all humanity this would not be tolerated. Who do you think had to eat all of those deep fried roads to ruin? Mum, that's who. Did she get her figure back? She seems to think she didn't. So in reality that's your fault too, you should probably buy her a Scouse Bird Food Diary to add a little humour to her dieting experience.
Bath times were always such fun as a kid, you could splash about like crazy and blow bubbles everywhere, you even had some darker times we won't speak of including a barbie doll and an imaginary shipwreck.. Such good memories right?
Mum doesn't think so does she hun? Trying to pin you down to wash your face was probably on par with trying to wrestle an octopus covered in vaseline.
You should probably pick her up a set of Bath Bombs in our Mothers Day gift range, £6.49 for any two Premium Bath Bombs of your choice hand wrapped by us little angels, they even come with a strip of customisable stickers to show your true appreciation for that gorgeous mum of yours.
Fast forward a few years now, you're in secondary school and you get your first set of house keys. You feel dead grown up and literally whip 'em out in every lesson you're in. Then you get home, you're standing outside your house ready to open the door with your big girl keys.
Shit. Lost them.
Who comes to your rescue? Mum does, that's who. I think, this year you should glam up her keys for her with a little hottie because mums love rockstars. Fact.
Remember when you were 17 and you told your mum you were gonna stay over at your bff's house for the night, but you actually went to Southport and nearly fell off the pier because you'd had too many Malibu's bought for you in the bowling alley by the guy twice your age? Guess who needed a drink when you turned up at 4am vomming up your guts. Mum. That's who.
Treat her to a fab bottle of Gin for Mothers Day, or go all fancy and buy her one of each miniature to jazz up her Alcohol display. Hold on though, if you're buying Gin you need to get her some Unicorn drink shimmer/syrup to go with it to make her drink sparkle as much as she does.
If you still don't know what to get her at this point then I really don't think I can help you, but don't you dare forget to buy her a card! Now I know that everyone think's they have the best ma in Liverpool. But with this card you can actually tell her.
Last but not least, don't forget to give her a big hug and tell her how much you love and appreciate her this Mothers Day. P.S I've clearly got the best mum in Liverpool, Love you Mum xoxo